"Hold my RPG, Omar, I’ll go get the lube. "Many visitors to Afghanistan can’t help but notice that a remarkable amount of “gayness” exists just below the surface, especially in the more conservative areas. Perhaps the most colourful depictions come from the soldiers themselves, who have coined the term Man-Love Thursdays to describe what some of their Afghan counterparts do in their free time. The troops return with tales of local men trying to “put the moves” on their younger-looking comrades—nothing blows the ego of a chauvinist 18-year-old with an assault rifle more than having a hairy old Pashtun ask his ranking officer how much he costs. Alongside all the warlords and beardos, it was common even under the Taliban to see men frolic around dandily with henna on their nails and kohl in their eyes, as if they were getting ready from a theme night at Club 181.
These misunderstood, battle-weary fruitcakes have also made sporadic appearances in print. USAID worker Joel Hafvenstein wrote in 2003 that his employees in Helmand province would tell him how much they “like” the way he walks; while journalists Anderson and Dworzak learned in the early days of the invasion that “when crows fly over Kandahar, they clamp one wing over their bottoms, just in case.” As far back as the mid-19th century, the British explorer Richard Francis Burton recorded a common Central Asian expression: “Women for breeding, boys for pleasure, but melons for sheer delight.” Burton himself was rumoured to have been an avid player for both teams, due in part to his in-depth comparative studies of the “endowments” of various races of man. However exaggerated his writings might have been, the sheer number of supporting accounts spanning the next century demonstrates that gay sex in Kandahar province is much more than a one-off incident. In fact, some estimates put its prevalence at between ten and thirty percent.
In contrast to modern Western gay relationships—which generally take place between equals—most of the homosexuality practiced in Afghanistan takes the form of pederasty: sex between adult men and adolescent boys. Sometimes it is done in exchange for money, other times as a mentor relationship, and on occasion there is coercion or force. Orphans and boys from lower-class families are the most frequent targets, though scholars disagree whether this practice has more in common with traditional marriage or with prison rape. Gay-rights advocates are tempted to portray every incident as a Pashto-language sequel to Brokeback Mountain, while Taliban supporters argue that the NATO administration is acquiescing in a mass-rape of lower-class boys. The reality is somewhere in between: some of these relationships are consensual and beneficial to the personal development of the younger partner, while others are exploitative and damaging.
Pederasty hit a peak in the 1990s, during the chaotic time between the departure of Soviet forces and the ascent of the Taliban. In the early years, Taliban leader Mullah Muhammad Omar gained considerable public support by condemning the rape of males and females alike by certain mujahadeen commanders. Under Taliban law, those convicted of sodomy were executed by having walls pulled onto them by bulldozers. Harsh as this may be, the pot can be as black as the kettle: to guard against temptation, Omar banned his own troops from having beardless boys serve amongst them.What lessons can we learn from this bizarre story? It tells us that sexuality is social phenomenon as much as a genetic one; our sexual morals and preferences depend in part on whether or not a particular behaviour is seen as “good” for society. In the West, gays and lesbians are generally productive citizens partaking in functional relationships; it therefore seems barbaric that someone in Afghanistan can be executed for being gay. But when Afghans think about homosexuality, they don’t think about two equal partners in a loving relationship. To them, homosexuality is when their son takes it in the ass from a rich man in exchange for free rides on his motorcycle. Sadly, it will take decades to change such perceptions in a society where sex is so taboo that it would make Grandma’s house feel more like Animal House.
The first priority for Afghan policymakers working in this field should be to develop a stronger jurisprudence against sexual exploitation in general. Once Afghans understand that the state will protect them from sexual violence, they might be more inclined towards tolerating (or at least talking about) different forms of the consensual variety. But this will take a long time. Until then, it looks like Man-Love Thursdays are here to stay.
